Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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