i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
