You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
that's an acceptable place to lick
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
