Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
