so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
