Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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