thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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