I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
