The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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