oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
