So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I party with great urgency now.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize