the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
