The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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