She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
