You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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