everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
