It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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