is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
