At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
