ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
