just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
