One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
