You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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