Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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