By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
