it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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