Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
do herpes really smell.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
