Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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