I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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