I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
