Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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