she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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