I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
