If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize