i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
