I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
