If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
