is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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