I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
