why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize