But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
