So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
