I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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