Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
