You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
