Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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