...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
