Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
