If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
