Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
