Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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