whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
