Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
