booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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