Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
