His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize