It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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