I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
