Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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