apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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